43 Escaped Research Monkeys Still Loose In South Carolina
I was horrified to read in the news that they still haven’t found those 43 research monkeys that had escaped into the wilds of rural South Carolina. Apparently they were normally secured in the Alpha Genesis experimental facility.
The outbreak happened when a staffer failed to secure a door properly.
The runaway monkeys have been on the loose since Nov 6th. “Local residents were urged to lock windows and doors and not to interact with the monkeys and instead call 911 immediately upon spotting any of the escaped primates.”
The article reported that “the animals were too young to carry disease, although it’s unclear whether this means they are incapable of contracting disease or simply hadn’t been introduced into any clinical trials”.
The company hopes that one-way traps containing apples will entice the animals.
So you are probably wondering – what does this have to do with Wyoming?
It’s one specific monkey who an alarmed South Carolinian captured a photo of:
This photo haunted me in more ways than one. I couldn’t shrug it off all day until it finally occurred to me – one of the experimental animals looks just like Bill Gates!
The revulsion and horror rising in my throat turned to abject fear when I thought of those poor unsuspecting folks in Kemmerer, WY.
Wyomingites have only been told a fraction of the story of this college drop-out alleged scientific genius, Bill Gates, whose skills range from self- proclaimed nuclear expert, communist China business partner, gain of function grantor, “Math is Racist” donor, to global philanthropist who wants to vaccinate the world.
You can’t convince me Gates isn’t intimately involved with this research facility in South Carolina as well – those pitiful experimental animals look just like him! Familial bonds within monkey communities last a lifetime, and who’s to say a few of these dangerous primates didn’t stow-away on his private jet and follow him clear to Wyoming?!
If Kemmerer authorities receive any alerts of creepy human-looking Rhesus monkeys (wearing glasses and having a large belly and man-boobs) prowling where the deer and antelope play, we suggest they place lab-grown meat (and perhaps poker chips) in their one-way traps to entice those potentially infectious furry intruders.